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What Should I do if I’m Being Stalked Online?
Modern-day stalking is becoming a huge problem with the widespread use of the internet. So many people have access to some type of device, whether it’s a computer, a phone or a tablet. Many older, retired people are online now more than ever before. Grandparents use Facetime and Skype to stay in touch with grandchildren all over the country and world. They also use the web for shopping and reading. With so many more people being online, it’s uses have been positive and negative. People who have too much time on their hands, control issues, mental illness and other issues find a reason to stalk other people online. There have been a lot of accounts of malicious hackers deleting peoples cloud data, deleted or vandalizing their Twitter accounts, and causing other digital damage, just because they were bored. They might want to start playing Fortnite instead. Multiple celebrities have been attacked many times, enough to stop uploading their more private images into the cloud.
Then there’s the emotionally unhealthy former spouse/fiancee or boyfriend/girlfriend. These are the worst because they feel a sense of entitlement to harass and stalk their exes online. They feel it’s their right to insinuate themselves into someone’s else’s lives when they have no right to do so. Even more common than your own former partner stalking you is their new wife/husband, girlfriend/boyfriend, or the person they’re are cheating on with. This happens quite a lot, so many people feel the urge to get online and check out the “competition.” This happens even when the relationship is over. Sometimes the person is propelled by information from their new romantic partner, whether the information is true or false doesn’t seem to matter. We all want to believe our new love was a victim and did no wrong in their last relationship. It makes it easier to overlook their potential flaws. Leftover resentment from your new romance should not be acted on for so many reasons, the least of which include that it’s unethical, way overly obsessive, and also really weird.
So, if you have a stalker, there are some things you can do to protect yourself. If they are obvious and blatant, such as posting comments or heckling you online, and you know who they are, block them and report them. Don’t be nice, don’t try to reason with him or her, just cut the cord. They are acting out of some unhealthy obsession or a false sense of loyalty to a bad person or, even more often, out of their own sense of insecurity and feelings of worthlessness. Some people feel a sense of control when they do this. Don’t engage and just cut it off. If they reach out to you with a sincere desire to talk and make peace, then that’s your call based on the past, but spying and becoming is unacceptable and is very emotionally damaging and draining for the person being stalked. Set all of your accounts to private. If you don’t have thousands of followers, go through them and see if any seem odd or fake. Sometimes stalkers go to great lengths to spy and will set up fake accounts. If any seem weird or off, block them. If they’re being sneaky about stalking you, then you can go to the police, or you can ignore it for a little while and see if they get bored and move on to someone else. If you ever feel you are in danger either bodily, or of being derailed by a narcissistic stalker, then get to the police and file a report and, if possible, a restraining order. Narcissists can try to dismantle your entire life, they will try to get you fired, attempt to disrupt your livelihood, create turmoil in your relationships, and even make up various lies about you to other to keep you isolated. This makes it easier for them to control you and your life. They don’t always need a logical reason except for control or fear of you. Don’t hesitate to report people like this to authorities, they often are doing the same thing to others. Seek out the help of friends and family members who support you emotionally. If that’s not possible, try a support group. If necessary, find a mental health professional who can help you cope with the stress of being stalked.
Lastly, make sure there’s no readily available information about yourself online. Do a google search to ensure your home address, phone number and anything else you wouldn’t want a stalker to access aren’t online. While it’s important to keep your privacy settings in a mode that is as secure as possible, often, despite our best efforts at keeping our information offline, sometimes it’s too late and various data miners and data harvesters have already gotten some of your personal information such as your address, phone number or other info. As a result of all this data gathering, you may do a search and find out that your personal information has already ended up online. If you find your name and address are online, contact an internet removal service who can show you how to remove your information from the internet. They can also delete information and remove your address from the internet.
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